you decide if this is a bragging right or not: today, my computer celebrates its eighth birthday! that's right, on march 1, 1998, my family first fired up this sucker. and for the last eight years... it's been firing back!

but amazingly enough, yes, this is still the same computer, and we'll be using it until it's shot. i'm hoping this thing lasts until it's ten years old... because i really like this thing. i don't need any fancy windows xp to make me content. i don't need fast speeds... i'm on dialup, and a pentium II. (quite possibly the last pentium II manufactured... they debuted the pentium III the day after we ordered our computer.) so i'm really not complaining about what i've got. but there are some omens i've been seeing lately...

25 signs you need a new computer

1. you have a pentium II
2. the clock on your computer loses a minute every hour
3. the remote control from the new big-screen tv can move your cursor
4. your tape drive finally broke
5. your cd drive no longer functions as a cupholder
6. the "blue screen of death" appears immediately after you start your computer
7. your mouse emits any sound similar to that used by the emergency broadcast system
8. you windows "start" button reads "retire"
9. the tech support guy is silent for more than ten minutes straight
10. if you have ever had a purple gorilla on your screen talking to you
11. your monitor switches to grayscale at random intervals
12. you actually figured out what the scroll lock button does
13. you've run out of 5 1/4" floppies to use
14. your computer freezes when you hit a mine while playing minesweeper
15. the speakers don't
16. someone actually manages to eat your cookies
17. hackers not only leave your computer alone, but leave a note of sympathy
18. your c64 works faster than your computer
19. when you add new hardward, your computer tries to eat your chair
20. aol actually has stock in your computer
21. norton starts talking about "when he was your age"
22. even though you've got the green plug in the green hole and the orange plug in the orange hole, you still hear sounds better through your keyboard
23. any sort of smoke appears around your computer when you open a file
24. you press control, alt, and delete more than you do the space bar
25. you've subconsciously incorporated the number 404 into your everyday life

questions? comments? insults? lists or ideas for lists? fiestaware? send them all to twentyfivethings@hotmail.com!  ¶ 9:29 PM